What size can? Which brand?
large can----no name----no counting twice
I wasn’t quite sure how to approach this…. So here goes.
Ok, what do I need to do this?
Cans of beans, can opener, large flat cookie sheet, a means to separate/count the beans, and a very large bowl to collect the counted beans.
Set my table up and got to business.
Opened the first can, working my way through the beans, my dog wants my attention and head butts my elbow.
Damn, (no recounts) that can is gone
Second can, cell phone rings, third can, the Wife hollers from another part of the house, fourth can, the dog pharts, and so it goes until, finally, I get though a complete can and then wonder, Is this number consistent?
Begin intermittent and then continuous banging on the front door.
I tried to ignore it, but they keep banging. This really pisses me off as I have a custom made sign on the front door with 3 simple phrases.
No Appointment?
No Business.
No Exceptions!
I violently shove my chair backwards, stomp through the house to the door, yank it open only to be confronted by a group of funny looking kids yelling something at me.
I holler back at them, (pointing to the sign) “can’t any of you &%#@+^% kids read?” Slam the door and head back through the house.
The Wife wanders in from somewhere and says, “What was that all about?” I fill her in and she says,” It’s Halloween you asshole! What is wrong with you?”
I attempt to muster a strong defence, but all that comes out is a meek and sheepish “Oh”
I settle back down to my task, but every time someone knocks on the door, the dogs bark. I have one dog. That’s all I ever wanted, but somehow there are more. I remember one morning while getting dressed my wife informed me that ”we” were going to be taking care of two of our kid’s dogs. While I was delivering my protest speech, the Wife tossed me a pair of pants. I looked at them and said, “These are your pants, I can’t get into them. “ She responded, “You just remember that buddy boy.”
Did I say we have three dogs?
One is mine, she was a therapy dog for both the elderly and children, and a blood donor for Guelph U. Truly the best dog I have ever had. The other two, (NOT MINE) put together, are stupider than a Chia Pet I had as a kid.
The Wife hollers from the front door, “Call the dogs, those two are barking at everyone, and keep them with you.” So I do.
My focus is much tougher now dealing with these two morons, but I struggle on.
I continue opening cans and counting beans, only to find, that no two cans have the same number of beans in them.
The Wife’s curiosity finally gets the better of her and she comes to see what I am up to.
She shrieks, “What are you doing?” as she enters the room. Apparently the Wife objected to her cherished lead crystal punch bowl overflowing with beans. Who knew?
“You need to take care of this” (gesturing around the room) “and when you are done, WE NEED TO HAVE A CHAT.”
I figured, no problem, I have a killer bean recipe, I’ll just make another one of those quadruple family batches as in the past.
Unfortunately, as I looked a little more closely at my collection of empty cans and the volume of beans, I realized, I have way too many beans to deal without a lot of help.
No problem, apparently it’s Halloween, so I learned. I’ll call some friends and we’ll have a ‘Western themed, backyard baked bean get together’ this coming weekend. Problem solved.
Here’s a short clip of the event.
Well, I’ve since cleaned up, the cans are recycled, and The Wife’s punch bowl is all washed up and back on the shelf.
The Wife and I have had our chat…
The Wife no longer sleeps in the same part of the house.
I have lost my alpha position with the dogs, not even a Walmart triple A Angus Prime Rib steak, hand cut by me, has regained me favour with the pack, and I start my therapy a week next Thursday.
@packrat , as much you tried a hijack, from the backyard get together, it might not be the same Winds
@Wave Runner started with, but I think we’re still on Winds.